This time last year, I was dreading the weekend. I was happy to have plans with my mom. But, I was so very sad in the pit of my stomach. It should have been my first mother's day. I should have a newborn to celebrate with me. But I didn't. And my heart was still unbelievably shattered.
When you get married, you have to learn to split holidays...and that is never easy. I've always spent every single mother's day with my mom. Duh. Well, likewise for my husband. So, last year, we decided on an early lunch with my mom and then a late afternoon coffee date with Jake's. I can remember feeling like I was going to have an anxiety attack while we were getting ready to go and telling Jake, " I can't do it. I can't go." He, as always, put his arms around me and told me, "I'll be right beside you. I'll take care of you." So, I went.
When we got to Papacita's, my mom was already there with her husband. We sat down and she handed me a single rose and a card. On the front of the card, it said, "Mommy." I lost my breath. I opened the card and she had signed it with our little girl's name, Addison. I couldn't speak. I just laid my head over and cried. It was the sweetest moment. When I finally stopped crying, I looked over and Jake was crying too. I'll never forget that moment, for it was then that I realized, I am a Mom. I may not get to hold my baby until we get to be together again in Heaven, but I am her Mommy. Always.
This year, my sweet husband is out of town. He knew he would be, so on Wednesday when he got home from work, he came in with two huge bouquets of flowers and a gift bag that said, "Happy Mother's Day." I couldn't believe it. I opened it and the card was what got me again. It was SO sweet. As I read it, through tears, I looked over and he had tears running down his face too. All I kept thinking was, how did I get so lucky???
I'm so thankful for my mom. I'm so thankful for all the moms out there who work hard to take care of their babies whether they are working for someone outside the home, or taking care of all the things at home. I'm thankful for moms who know they can't provide for their children and choose to give them a better life by putting them with a family who will love them and care for them. I am thankful for moms who choose life and not the easy way out.
But, I'm mostly thankful that I have a family who remembers that I am a mom too.
<3
